Everything Will Turn Out Okay
by MakeItSparkle01
Summary: "It was silly, that Robin trusted Marshall's promise and allowed it to comfort her, after all, there was no way that he could know for sure what the end result would be." Robin and Marshall talk friendship, infertility, and her relationship with Barney.


Robin was not fine, despite what she told her friends. Of course they didn't bother to look past the smile she had been faking for the last week. She was finally with the person that she had always loved, and she was happy. She really was. But she knew that just because she was happy today didn't mean that she would still be happy tomorrow. It didn't mean that she would be happy after Barney learned the truth about her.

It was easy for her friends to overlook the slightest spec of sadness that had taken up residence in her eyes, because all they saw was the way she smiled when she caught a glimpse of her engagement ring, or when Barney put her arm around her after a long day at work. It was easy forget that there was one thing that they all knew that Barney didn't.

Marshall was the first to notice that something was off. Maybe it was his keen lawyer abilities that allowed him to see through her "I'm fine," but he caught himself still looking at her after everyone else had looked away. He was usually able to sense when something was bothering Robin, even though they rarely spent time alone together and the last time she called his phone was three months ago. They had a special kind of friendship, and when something was really wrong, he could always tell.

He knew that he had to talk to her, because from what he saw no one else noticed that she was going through something, and maybe it would be better if it was him. After all, Lily tended to be a bit controlling, and Ted would probably just confess his love for her again, or something horrible along those lines. And if she hadn't told Barney yet, chances were it was something that she didn't want to talk to him about.

With Robin being such a closed book, one would think it would be difficult to figure out what she was hiding from the people the she loved the most. The _person_ that she loved the most, but Marshall saw it almost instantaneously. He knew that Robin couldn't have kids. It was something that they all, excluding Barney, knew, but all seem to have forgotten. It had been hard for Marshall to ignore lately, seeing as she hadn't put Marvin down since she held him for the first time the previous week, but he had noticed something strange. When she looked at Marvin, she looked at him with admiration and love, of course, as any aunt would look at her nephew, but there was something else, something much deeper. It was a sadness that Marshall could not identify, but he could see that it was there.

Robin had been in the nursery for about 20 minutes alone with Marvin, something that would have impressed him had it been a month ago. With Lily sprawled out on their bed, making that week's lesson plans, he figured that it was now or never. Robin was in the rocking chair, singing quietly to the baby fast asleep in her arms. "Hey Robin." He said his attempt at casualty failing already.

"Hi." She said quietly, conscious of the sleeping child she was holding. She placed him gently in his crib and Marshall's heart ached as he watched her cover Marvin up with his favorite blanket and gently kiss his head. There was something about the warmness that she felt towards something that was so small, something that used to terrify and unnerve her.

"I've been meaning to talk to you." Marshall said, pretending like he wasn't about to ambush her with a "feelings talk"

"Is it because I've been coming over so much lately and just hanging out with Marvin? I'm sorry, I still love you guys, and you're great, but he has little fingers and toes, and sometimes we play with game where-"

"No, it's not that." Marshall interrupted. "I'm really glad that you've gotten closer to Marvin. You're a really wonderful aunt."

She smiled involuntarily. "It's easier now that I'm not afraid of him."

"I'm sorry that you can't have your own baby." He said quietly and avoiding eye contact. Maybe this wasn't the best way to start a conversation like this, but it was the only sentence he could manage to form.

"I-What? No. I don't actually want my own. Ha. No. Me? A mom? Yeah. Good one, Marshall. No. Not even. Try again Marsh Madness. Not even a little-"

"Please stop. You're really bad at lying." He laughed quietly, even though he knew that there was nothing funny about her situation. "You can tell me the truth."

She sighed. "I don't even know what I want. All I know is that I held Marvin, and I love him, and I like... holding him and singing to him, and talking to him, and I can't wait to watch him grow up and I want to be around him all the time, and I just don't understand why. How come my whole life I never wanted to be within a 10 mile radius of anyone under the age of 15 and now all of a sudden my baby maker is broken and all I want is to drown in a pool of babies. I literally want to drown in a pool of babies, Marshall."

"Have you talked to Barney about this?"

"He doesn't know yet." She mumbled.

"Why don't you tell him?"

"Because he would be really great dad, and I think that that's what he wants, and I think that that's what I want for him."

"Robin you just need to tell him." Marshall said gently.

"That's easy for you to say." Robin spoke intensely. but quietly, for the sake of her sleeping nephew. "I don't even know what I want, Marshall. I don't know if I want kids or if I don't want kids. I don't know how I feel, and I'm supposed to tell that to Barney?I have too tell him to chose if he wants to be a father or if he wants to marry me. How do I even begin that conversation? I don't even know what to say."

"You just tell him the truth.."

"I don't want to." She said, in a voice that was much more vulnerable than Robin's. "Because once I do, that could be the end for us. I'm really scared. I don't want to go through another break up with Barney. The last one almost killed me."

"Robin, why are you even mentioning a break up? Barney would never leave you. He loves you."

"Yeah, he loves a lot of things, but I don't know if you've noticed he's able to move on pretty easily."

"Come on, you know that it's not like that with you."

"I know." She admitted. "But this isn't a small thing. This is kind of a bombshell, and I just don't know how he's going to feel about it. I don't know if he's going to be okay with it. I mean let's face it. Barney could be with any girl in this city. He's already been with a good percentage of them. Why would he want to be with me when he can be with someone that he can start a family with?"

"No." Marshall said so powerfully that it caused Robin take a step backwards. "No. I'm not going to let you do that. I'm not going to let you talk down about yourself. When Barney asked you to marry him, he knew that you didn't want kids, and he accepted that, and if he doesn't accept you exactly as you are than he is a bigger idiot than I previously believed possible, because you are perfect for him. You love him, and I know that you always will. You're into the same weird stuff, and you make him so happy. Happier than any of us have ever seen him, so if he gives all of that up than he's the one that should be hurting because he will have lost the greatest thing that could ever happen to him, and you will have lost... the biggest idiot in the world."

"What if I can't spin this whole stupid infertility thing to make it sound good? What if I have to admit to him that I want to have a baby. A little blonde baby wearing a suit and tie. And I would definitely get him a little onesie with the Canadian flag on it. Could you imagine how adorable that would be? And how much Barney would hate that? And I would get to sing to him whenever I wanted to, because he would be ours, and we could raise him to play laser tag and he would call me "Mom," and I would be good at it. I hate that I would be such a kick ass mom because, I can't be one. And it's not fair that I can't make that choice anymore. It just... not fair."

Marshall hugged her, lost for another solution. He wished that he could tell her that this was just a phase she was going through and she would get over it, but he was sure that wasn't true. He could picture Robin being a mother, something that he never pictured before, and he knew that she would be great at it, because he saw her with Marvin, and it was insane how nurturing she was, because when you think Robin Scherbatsky, you think a lot of things, but he never thought that nurturing would be one of them.

"Whatever happens, you and Barney are going to get through it together." Marshall promised her quietly. "He loves you, and this isn't going to change that." He pulled away. "Besides, just because you can't carry a child doesn't mean that you can't have kids."

"It means that I can't have _Barney's_ kids." She sighed. "It seems so stupid, how important that small little detail is, but I want to be able to see myself in my child as I watch him grow up, and I want to see Barney in him too. I want to be pregnant, and feel a baby grow inside me, but wanting all of that is pointless. It can't change anything."

"You're a really good friend." She said after a moment of comfortable silence

"So are you. And you're a really good person. Barney's really lucky. I know that he's going to see that. And I think that he's going to be able to make you feel a lot better about this than I can."

"I don't think that anyone could make me feel better about this than you can. I know that we've never been that close, but I want you to know that I'm really glad that I have you in my life." She hugged him one last time. "I guess I better go talk to Barney, huh?"

"I think it's a talk that's long overdue."

"Promise that everything's going to be okay?"

"I promise."

It was silly, that Robin trusted Marshall's promise and allowed it to comfort her, after all, there was no way that he could know for sure what the end result would be.

He was the only one to notice that she was hurting, even Lily missed what Marshall had picked up on. She smiled to herself, thinking how lucky she was to have someone like Marshall. She had always considered him a friend, but their relationship wasn't the same as her relationship with Ted or Lily.

If anyone else had made a promise like the one he had just made to her, she would have laughed at them, but for some reason, the fact that Marshall thought everything was going to be okay, made things a little bit better. One conversation, and all of her fears were silenced.

For years to come they would develop inside jokes, come up with original nick names for one another, and not a minute of it was forced, because he made her a promise, and she trusted him and his promise.

And everything turned out to be okay.


End file.
